Greta dreamt she was a locally-raised, organic chicken. She lived on a family farm that was quite licensed, thank you very much, a point her subconscious made sure to emphasize after having suppressed the memory of her smuggling in so many illegal turkeys for the past few Thanksgivings. It’s not that they were cheaper that way. No, quite the opposite. It’s that they were so young, which frankly Greta took as a crime committed by them.
She was an older chicken, just at that overripe age perfect for a mole. She was blissfully unaware, however, of her status as an ingredient. All she cared about was how warm she was—and she was very warm. Wearing feathers was not quite like having them, she came to realize. Having them was much more convenient, and practical. An aura of vitality radiated out from her tiny, football-shaped body. She was content to roost 24/7, though her owners would never allow it. They burst into her charming portable coop and, with horrific workman’s gloves that scraped against her silky white plumage, lifted her out of her nest and threw her into the field with the rest of the farm animals.
Then they made her exercise. It was worse than mandatory PE in high school. She never dreamt that a free-ranged life would be so grueling. It was the polite word for boot camp. Forced exercise was the next frontier for human rights, she wanted to screech. She only managed a furious cluck while scrambling for cover as the farmer’s wife came charging through in overalls.
After some time went by, Greta couldn’t help but think how delicious she must be. She began to have rather masochistic thoughts of roasting herself. Perhaps there was an oven left open somewhere, which she could hop up into and re-roost. She considered wandering into the farmhouse’s kitchen. And just as she was pecking herself to check to see if there were any loose pinfeathers, she awoke to find one of her wrists firmly clamped between her molars.
To enter consciousness with Greta and hopefully stay there for awhile, please go here.
For chicken that has been forced to exercise, please flock here.
